Sychronicity at Work

     I don't believe that 'everything happens for a reason,' as the saying goes. I do believe that some things happen for a reason, for instance to move you forward in a decision, or get you thinking about a situation you're  in that might no longer be beneficial. I think that these events of synchronicity are not of our making, but come to us at a time when we need a change, a reflection, a move of one kind or another.
     When I was young, I saw synchronicity as an event that would push me in a direction. For instance, a break up with a boyfriend, or waking up too late to go to class and give a presentation in a design class, made me think it was definitely time to drop out of my college studies and head for Manhattan and become an actress. Maybe that was so, maybe it was just what I wanted to believe was the right course for me.  I did not pursue acting for very long, deciding after two years that was not what my inner drive was made for, but art and design, after all.
     Many years later, I still know that the best thing I ever did for myself was make that move, at that time, and do what I did.  College was still there for me to return to, and I discovered that I had developed a thick skin about my creative endeavors, which allowed me, in later years to take direction and do well financially with my talents, and not waste time on sensitive feelings, if a client or agent did not love one of my designs as much I as thought they should. Living in Manhattan and doing odd modeling jobs, soap opera walk-ons, and generally living from hand to mouth for those two years, also taught me that I never had to be afraid to work free lance in anything I chose. Another successful outcome of my youthful desire to  become an actress. My late husband and  I did some technical legal work for over 30 years, free lance, had many clients, free time and a bountiful living.
     Maybe breaking up with a short term boyfriend whom I seldom ever thought of again, or missing a class project deadline and earning a 'D' as a grade, was synchronicity at work, pushing me on to something else: Manhattan. At the time, I thought it was a calling for me to become an actress. Looking back, the picture seems much bigger:  it was a calling for me to make a change that would reveal what direction I really wanted to go in, no matter how badly I was stuck on that actress notion. Those acting class taught me much more than how to act.
    Many years later, I feel that meeting certain people is synchronicity. I can usually feel it when I meet them, right off, even though the purpose of our connection may not be divulged right away. It may even take years. I feel a certain, and important influence by their smile, their comment, or the way they walk past me. If I try to ignore the feeling, it keeps coming back to me, whenever I see them or hear of them. I tell myself it might be a simple attraction to a man, and I can just turn my head and it won't matter, but certain signals are pointing to this person for some reason.
      The type of person that needs an explanation for everything, by 'explaining everything away,' as I see it, might say this were just a simple male - female attraction, but I don't think so. Maybe we were brought together for some other purpose, during a time of reflection, for both of us, in our lives. So separate for even the several years we have known one another, and now, at a time for action, I, at least, will make new and important choices in my life because he spoke to me about miscellaneous topics and shared some laughter with me. What does it mean for him, I wonder, and is this reciprocal synchronicity, or is it just meant for me?  I have no doubt that Time will reveal the reason, and a new path.

Stay Calm

     When I was getting very low, just around Christmastime last year, and wondering how I could free myself from an unhappy relationship, I kept having a thought of my departed husband being in a bookstore he used to frequent, and felt he was there, waiting for me.  I drove past the place several times in a week, and felt such a pull, that I wanted to stop and see if there were anything to explore, or see.
     One day I made up my my mind to go there, stopped, and walked around the building, now occupied by other businesses, and went to the window where once a large history section used to be.  I did not see anything with my earthly eyes, but felt that he was there, a book in hand, and looking over his glasses at me from out of the window. I had been crying so much that week, and felt the tears flowing again, until I heard him in my mind, saying to me,"stay calm." There was no other message from him.
    Staying calm was the last thing on my mind, as patience has never been my strong point. I was hurt, angry, lonely, and trapped, and I wanted some sort of revelation about what I could do, immediately, to wriggle out of my current situation. But nothing else was said. He was looking at me, still, as if he intended that I take his words seriously. "Stay calm."
    Oddly, and very unlike me, I stopped crying, walked away, and felt a strange sense of peace. Four months later, as I write this, I still see him, and hear his words, and it has kept me strangely tranquil in the middle of an on going tempest in my daily life. I believe the impact of this vision will keep reminding me to return to this state of calm, at least until I am able to take action and end a failing relationship, which  I can't repair, and which robs me of my energy.
    When I have experiences that I can't explain, I simply leave it at that. I don't try to explain it away, by saying I was tired or distraught, or that in my grief I  only wished that I would have such an experience.  Nor do I insist it was really the spirit of my husband coming to comfort me. It was otherworldly, whether in in my subconscious,  or from God's hand. I just remind myself that there is a lot out there we don't know about, and that is explanation enough for this very powerful vision. I will put my feet up and wait until the moment is right, all on its own, and do little to rush it, which may cause everyone more pain.

Sky Blue Wulf, calmly waiting...

Are Castles Magical?

At a very low point in my life, after I had lost my husband to cancer, and found that no matter how much time had passed, I could never find any peace or joy in anything except my dogs, I made several trips to England, the land of my ancestors. I had traveled there before, most notably on our honeymoon, and my husband and I had visited the area where my ancestors lived. We touched their walls, and walked in their paths. I wanted to return and find a connection to all of my past, not only with my husband, but with my ancestors, since I have very little in the way of a living family. I believed that if I touched the walls of medieval castles, I would connect with these departed 'family members,' and feel some calm and peace. I don't really know why I believed this so deeply, other than the grief drove me to desperation of seeking a spiritual way to find my way out of the pain and loneliness. I touched many castles on that first trip; Ludlow Castle, Shrewsbury Castle, Carlisle Castle, Edinburgh Castle, Tower of London, the city walls of York and the city wall of London. Guess what???? It did not work at all! I was as miserable and lost as before I had the idea that this would work to heal me. A few months later I made another trip and visited other places and touched more castles, and then another, when I stayed six months and touched even more, still clinging to this belief that it would cure me of my depression, and help me to find my way in the world again. It  never worked. Maybe I did not allow it to, but I did feel the connection with my ancestors, and with my husband, so at least in the spirit world, I was definitely not alone, even if I was in the living world. Maybe it just took time to seep into me, and fade the nervousness and sleeplessness I had for so long. I'm still very glad I toured all of those English castles, and more. Maybe seeing them did help me, because I got out and saw something fantastic, instead of just staying in my house and suffering alone. The medieval structures of the past  brought me back out into the world of the present again.

Fairy Rath

Every Irishman knows the possible mayhem that could result from venturing too near a Fairy Rath. Fairies do not like to be disturbed by humans, and  could use it as an invitation to haunt, tease, or frighten them. This raised mound surrounded by a thick growth of trees is where the fairies may have dwelt for centuries. A highway project, for instance, that destroys this fairy haven may incur the extreme wrath of the fairies, this evidence manifesting itself in the death of the men who worked on the new road, or the destruction of their own homes. But an innocent man who simply walks near the fairy house, in hopes of getting a  glance of these otherworldly creatures, may simply be followed and haunted by a female fairy, and never able to get her out of his mind. She may taunt him with her strange spirit, and remain forever, just out of reach to his touch. Perhaps it is that beautiful torture that he longs for, and that drew him near the rath to begin with., but you will have to ask him what he seeks, for I do not know.  Beware of what gets under your skin, Irishman! Or should the impertinent fairy be cautious of attaching herself to the stray human?